Today I finished reading Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages (How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate). I have heard about the five love languages for years and taken tests and been asked by different people what my love language is. Chances are you also are familiar with them. But for me, that was nothing compared to reading the book.
Although this same book is written for the context of children, teenagers, singles, and God, the one for married couples was the one that was handy. It did make me want a husband to try this stuff on, but it was still certainly a worthwhile use of my time, and I was able to read it in the context of brotherly/social/moral love (philadelphia and agapaō?).
It has helped me to understand past friendships and relationships—why I have felt loved by some friends and had a hard time believing it in others. I am also picking up on things that stressed me out with roommates/flatmates that were probably simply differences in love languages. My teammate picked up the book to understand me better, and I am glad she did. She is a great team player. Turns out we have completely different love languages, and having realized that, I hope these next couple years will be highly productive, as long as we choose to keep each other’s love tanks full.
After reading this book, I’ve decided quality time is my primary love language. If I don’t know someone’s heart and they don’t ask about mine, I quickly assume that I am not important to them. I have yet to experiment more with acts of service, which is what most people guess to be my love language, since it is mostly how I express love to people. If I request/let people do things for me, I may yet discover I’m bi-lingual.
I think everyone needs to read this book from start to finish—especially if you are married, but even if you are not. Chances are most of us will be one day, and regardless of that, we all have important people in our lives—family, friends, housemates, co-workers, mankind. We all need to have our love tanks filled! If you choose to read one of the other books, let me know what you think.
Sorry to all of my friends whose love tanks I did not fill well. That specifically goes more to those of you whose love language is gifts. Of the five love languages, it is the most unnatural way for me to express love. But I am going to try to learn to speak it better. I really do love you!
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com
1 comment:
Hey Sarah Joy, I probably didn't/don't ask that much about what is in your heart, but I see your love for the world and its people bubbling out of it!
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