"You Give and Take Away"

Not many minutes after opening a facebook message heralding wildly exciting pregnancy news from friends on the other side of the world, another message popped up on my screen: a skype chat with a crying face from another friend (green shirt). It was early Sunday afternoon for me, but for her it was 3 am Monday morning and she had just found out that our sweet friend, sister, and 36-year-old co-worker went home to Jesus a few hours earlier (blue shirt). I worked with these 2 girls the 7 months I lived in Jakarta.

Today was the first bout of rain we've had in a long time here. I stayed home from the office, drained from yesterday's news. The rain was a little bit of comfort, as if God were bringing sympathetic tears my way. It is SO HARD to be on the opposite side of the world from where all my friends are grieving.

The rain has stopped now but I can't seem to just yet. I wish so much that I could be in Jakarta with my friends! In my mind I keep shouting, "It can't be! It can't be!" Last night I wrote in my journal:

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. It can't be true. I must have heard wrong. Misunderstood.... But Vitri's FB page confirms it. Oh my friends. 2 of your treasures are gone [last month another friend was killed in a motorcycle accident]. Your group is full of treasures. Strengthen them through these deaths, Lord. It's so hard to be left behind. For their sake it is wonderful and we wouldn't wish them back, away from your presence, but we long to be there, too. With You, with them. One day... What a glorious day it will be!

Kak Vitri, I can't wait to dance before the Throne with you and those whose lives you have touched. I praise the Lord that your pain is over, but in the meantime I ache!!! Love you, kak. You are missed. Hug Jesus for me.