Off to IL

Before flying to IL for Christmas, I got to see Rachel and be treated to Indian cuisine. YUMMY!!!

It was good to see grandma, even though she doesn't exactly know who we are.

A white Christmas! Ok, this was several days after Christmas, but it's the Christmas scene and we woke up to a blanket of snow the day before we left IL. Woohoo!

SC 40th Anniversary Celebration

On December 16 I picked Charis up from the airport and the next day we headed to our Aunt and Uncle's 40th wedding anniversary celebration. SPECIAL night.

Renewing their vows, Aunt Alice surprised us by coming out in her wedding dress!!! It still fits. Maybe even looser than it was 40 years ago. Probably because of the master's degree at 60 and running a marathon at 63. :)

sisters. :)

Cousins. :)

Family celebration at Lara's with her amazing culinary & decoration skills:

Ahhhhh...

Memory lane.

On the Road Again: GA, TN, NC

Singleness

My former roommate came over for a quick lunch on my birthday and started a good chat on singleness. It got me thinking I might write a blog up about it, but she beat me to it! Take a look at her well-written piece on writing to be real.

Then I was talking to a good friend on the phone who is at a crossroads in her life. She said,

"I could pretty much do ANYTHING! Is that weird or what?"

"No, that's not weird at all," I laughed. "It happens to me all the time. It's called singleness."

"I know!" she groaned. "Why can't I just get married and have 5 kids? It can't be THAT hard! Tons of people do it! The only conclusion I've come to is that I'm not married right now because the Lord doesn't want me to be. Why not???"

Why am I not married? I hear this longing in so many of my single friends––who are NOT, may I add, the "single for a reason" type. You know what I mean. Married people and older people ask me that a lot, too: "Why aren't you married? You're a pretty little thing. How come you haven't been snatched up?" As if ugliness were the only excuse for not being married.

Been having lots of thoughts on singleness lately, and maybe I'll get back around to the topic, maybe not. We'll see....

OSAAT

Trying to get myself to bed at a decent hour tonight, but I wanted to quickly repost the Mennonite doxology I grew up with (posted Oct 1 but in case it got lost in all the text, here it is again). Posting it because my heart is full of praise as I crawl into bed tonight.

Tonight I am thankful to announce that I have a flatmate. I've had a few scary evenings here, so I'm glad not to be alone anymore. Yesterday I was thinking, surely we can't handle knowing our future––good or bad––it's too much information for us to handle well. It has been good to watch things unfold one step at a time and to be mostly comfortable with not knowing more. And God has been so faithful and so good in His provisions, why do I ever feel a need to know more than one step at a time? I am also enjoying so very much to be settling in somewhere indefinitely. I am weary of travel (but will be on the road again for 4-5 weeks). One. Step. At. A. Time.

Sleepover

One does not need to be completely settled before one starts having visitors. That's what I think, anyway. Take away entertaining and I can't survive! Thursday night I reunited with my dear friend Aileen after 5 years, and Friday night 3 teenagers joined our sleepover.

Fun times. Some of us were up a little later than others. :) Ok, Anya and I were.

Left: Friday night.

Below: Saturday morning/day.

Happy Birthday Dad!

My parents were in town for several days. It was WONDERFUL having them here to help me move and sort stuff and paint and make things homey.

And they were here for dad's 63rd birthday! The day was spent running around doing errands. Coming home we didn't think mom would fit! But dad can make anything fit. Can you see her in the first picture? Where's Waldo...

Dad wanted steak for his birthday. We used to go to a Steak & Ale up near Colonial, so thought we would try that, but it was gone! Not even the building was there anymore. Driving down Colonial we saw "La Cantina's Steakhouse." The parking lot was packed out which is usually a promising sign, and it had the word steak in the title. Another good sign.

While having our 25-minute wait to get a table, a conversation struck up with a man who told us that he had been going to La Cantina for 35 years. "It's the best steak around. AND it's local," he informed us. Even better! we said. We chatted with the man for a good 15 minutes or so before his buzzer went off and he left us. Once we made it to our table, we decided to go all out. We got an appetizer and each ordered our own steak how we liked it; no meal sharing, and mom and dad were getting filet mignons. As we enjoyed our appetizer & salads, our waitress came over and said, "A man named Steve has picked up your tab. He's sitting over there." Our eyes followed her gesture, and the man we had been talking to waved at us.

Can you believe it???!!! We sure couldn't. Dad went over to thank him, and Steve said, "Thanks for listening to me talk about my son" (his son has William's Syndrome). We had talked about a lot more than his son, but for some reason that made an impression on him. WOW!

A couple days later we went to my favorite restaurant in Orlando, Gloria's Cafe. Our waitress randomly asked if it was someone's birthday and a little later we all had a surprise when she brought out Tres Leches and a serenader and made a bunch of noise. Fun times you can watch here.

Adjustments

A public apology on texting. I am finding out not everyone has texting service in America, and the length of my texts may be costing people more than I realize (sorry!). In Asia, texting is the main mode of communication. Oddly, cell phones are almost the only kind of phones in use (on my jungle island they completely bypassed landlines). If I have been costing you pretty pennies, please tell me.

Raw & Fresh

My entire Saturday afternoon dripped away on a raw milk hunt. My eyeballs and brain were swimming in online articles and videos on the subject (like the ones on mootoyou). Finally I tore myself away at 6:45, telling myself I really needed to get out of the house before such a beautiful day came to an end. I stole a glance at the next 3 verses in Mark to digest on my walk.

As I set off, I reviewed Mark 1 out loud, ending with the story of Jesus healing Simon's mother-in-law, which I wanted to process through. I stopped myself, remembering to pray first. I was surprised to hear in my prayer that my desire for Jesus was starting to sound like my new desire for milk! I have been overwhelmed by so many spiritual books to read and sermons to listen to. It is good, inspiring stuff! But there is no end to it all! And I am entering a phase where all I want is Jesus and His Word. His stories. Raw and fresh. Don't pasteurize or homogenize it, add vitamins to it, or do anything to it. Give it to me straight. All the nutrition I need is there for the taking. Just give me Jesus.

Introducing Ebbie

I have dreamed about and suppressingly hoped for owning a Honda. As I searched for a car to buy, hondas faded out of the picture with their high prices or high miles. So I shifted my focus, wondering if I would ever find a reliable car in my price range, which qualities were most important to me and which ones I would have to let go of. I test-drove cars like Goldilocks:

This one's too big. This one's too fancy. That one isn't nice enough. The engine is too noisy. The brakes are squeaking. It's an automatic (they were all automatics). It's nice, but it has 100,000 miles on it. 70,000 miles you say? Is the make reliable? Sorry, the gas mileage is not good enough....

I got sick after 3 weeks of back-to-back conferences and travel. I couldn't get out of the house so my search was limited to the Internet. I quickly gave up on craig's list––how in the world could I, a single girl, know I'm not getting sold a lemon? And because I wasn't feeling well, my search radius kept decreasing, until I wasn't willing to look at anything further than 5 miles away, and even that sounded overwhelming. When seeking council from my auto-mechanic-Idaho-uncle (who buys cars for $200 and makes them run) he said of my top choices:

Those prices are outrageous! You need to look for a car in the classifieds and you need to find someone who knows cars to go look with you. Actually, what you need to do is quit looking for cars and look for a boyfriend. Go up to guys and say, "Do you know about cars?" And if you find one who says yes, then say, "Will you be my boyfriend?"

I was discouraged. Then Tuesday afternoon I had a sudden thought: Go on autotrader.com and put in what you really want with a 100-mile radius. Half-heartedly I entered:

• Honda
• sedan
• manual transmission
• less than 75,000 miles
• my price max

One car came up. My jaw hit the floor. 36,000 miles!? $3000 under my price limit! ??? Then I groaned. The dealer was 2.5 hours away! There's no way I can get to it before someone snatches it up. Anyway, something surely must be wrong with the car. And what am I going to do? Drive 2.5 hours up, look at it, drive 2.5 hours back, then find someone to drive 2.5 up with me so I can buy it and have them drive the other car back? I was on a roller coaster. From what I could tell online, it was an amazing deal. But if it was as good as it sounded, it seemed impossible to be able to be the first to get it, and just impossible logistically to get to it PERIOD!

I called immediately but got voicemail. They were already closed for the day.

Suddenly I had a thought.... Could that possibly be anywhere near where my friends live? My parents' best friends moved a few months ago (dear friends of mine, too––I grew up with them as my "aunt" and "uncle" in Indonesia) .... I looked it up on on the map. Their retirement center was 8 miles from the dealer! I started to get excited but the logistics pushed it down. I still needed someone to take me up there. Then...

Wait a minute.... The friends I'm staying with are going to Charleston... tomorrow afternoon.... Are they flying or driving? I asked. Driving was the reply. It was on the way! They could drop me off! But what if I didn't want the car? How would I get home? Wait 5 days for them to return from Charleston? No, I would find a way. I called my friends at the retirement center. "Of course you can stay with us! And Fred can go check out the car for you tomorrow before you leave Orlando..."

Excitement kept welling up and I kept shoving it down, not wanting to get my hopes up. Then I chided myself. "Sarahjoy, if God has this car picked out for you, then it will all work out. Stop worrying. Trust Him." That settled me some, but I still found myself suppressing hope with, "It probably is already taken or has something wrong with it.

The next morning I spoke with the dealer and found out it actually was a private sale he was doing for his landlord's 82-year-old father whose wife just passed away this month. They had bought the car brand new in 2000, then pulled it behind their RV for 5 years, putting 25,000 miles on the tires. It only had about 10K on the engine, driven regularly around town. He had posted it on ebay and it was already up to the listed price.

I explained that I had a ride that afternoon and could buy it the following morning but didn't want to make the trip all the way up there to find the car was no longer there. Later he called me back and said to have Uncle Fred check it out and if after that I still wanted it, he would hold it for me.

While I waited to hear from Uncle Fred, I tackled the cash quandary (the owner wanted cash; I had planned on a credit card), called for insurance quotes, called the different counties about auto tag info, and started packing. An hour before my friends hit the road, Uncle Fred called saying the car looked good! But at that point in the chain of events I would have been shocked to hear otherwise.

My friends pulled off the interstate and handed me off to Uncle Fred and Aunt Dorothy like a relay baton. After we started off I glanced at the clock, it read 6:06, which always reminds me of the Mennonite doxology because it is on page 606 in the old hymnal, and that is how my family refers to it (listen here). A little later, I caught a glimpse of a rainbow––a reminder that God is faithful to His promises.

Uncle Fred took me by to see the car, which I was able to sit in even though the dealership was closed for the night. It looked way better in real life––no fast food picture shenanigans here!

I couldn't sleep that night. I was overwhelmed by God's goodness and His orchestration of pulling off this event. I kept thinking about 82-year-old Mr. B (the owner) whose loss was my gain. There was no longer any doubt in my mind that that Honda was mine and that it was no lemon. I started thinking about what I might name the car and was looking through Hebrew names in Genesis––God hears? God sees?

The transactions went smoothly Thursday morning and I enjoyed a leisurely chat with a very sweet Mr. B over the title exchange. I should not fail to say that the fellows at Cheap Cars were wonderful. If you're in the area, and need a car or a repair, I recommend them!

After a lovely visit with Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Fred, I began my drive home Friday. Switching on my iPod, the first song that played on shuffle was:

I offer my Isaac here on your altar

Remove from my shoulders bound for the slaughter

I surrender my Isaac here on your altar

Freely I offer the love of my heart

My hands are free to praise you wholly now

To receive what you have for me

And should you take or return my Isaac, O Lord

On your altar my heart will still be

On your altar my heart will still be

I was full of joy and my heart was singing over this amazing gift and then thought, maybe Isaac would be a good name? Doesn't Isaac mean laughter? And from his story, Lord, may I never hold on to this–or anything–without being willing to let go or give it back to you. I want my hands to always be free to praise you.

But in the end, I keep returning to Ebenezer––a memorial set up in remembrance of what God has done for a person/group of people. And since I am stuck on the notion that cars need girl names, I have decided to call her Ebbie, which sounds feminine to me. This lengthy recounting is another Ebenezer for me, lest I forget the way God provided for my needs with amazing clarity, knowing too well my tendency to doubt my choices. He left no doubt that this was all HIS doing. To Him be the glory. Amen!

P.S. I searched within a 100-mile radius, but the car was 140 miles away....

In Transition

So, Asia and America are different. Here are some journal entries from the past couple months on things I've encountered after arriving in the U.S.

June 23 (Day 1):

(1pm) It is surreal to be here, back in the U.S. and I can't wrap my mind around not going back to Asia anytime soon. This just does not feel permanent. What will it look like? What will the next steps be?... (8:30 pm) Some first impressions/observations before I sleep:

• Dairy seems inescapable! Americans clearly love dairy. It was everywhere I looked––yogurt, cheese, milk, potato salad, ice cream...
• Wine is cheap here.
• My steak meal at Outback cost the same as ramen noodles at LAX airport.
• There is an entire aisle of wines at Publix.
• At the airport in China they had wines that cost hundreds, even thousands of dollars!
• Americans are loud and enthusiastic.
• Customer service is excellent! The lady at the deli was SO nice And our waitress at Outback. As well as other Publix employees.
• Orlando is quite diverse. Did I really leave Singapore? People walking into Publix were speaking Chinese, and the cashier was from India. I expected to hear Spanish here. But Chinese? Indians? Wow!
• Durien Durien Thai Cuisine. The name and the food make me feel at home.
• The restaurant name Nona Sushi took me a while to figure out. I couldn't believe they had an Indonesian name ("nona" is a title for a young lady)! Finally it dawned on me: it is named after the area: Lake Nona.

June 25, 10 pm

• I didn't know/remember American service to be SO accommodating! "We'll give it to you however you want it..." Woohoo!
• Getting overwhelmed with technology. How is it possible to stay in touch with everything coming out? What kind of people/societies will the world produce with constant upgrades and changes? What will the children of this generation (my generation) be like as adults? Are humans getting smarter or dumber? What happens when there is an electronic shutdown? If the Internet disappeared?

Lord Jesus, help me to know how to relate to this life. I don't necessarily want to adjust/adapt to it.... I think my teammate of 3 years in the jungle prepared me more for living in the US than if I had never left. Strange. It is bizarre to me how I can go half-way around the world for nearly 5 years, live in a jungle for most of it, and still return up to speed on so many things. Well, maybe not speed, but in the loop. Impossible 30 years ago. Even 20 years ago probably. What a strange, strange era I live in!

Hold my hand, Lord. Don't let me get swept away....

Lessons learned in the past few years:

• It pays to stop and pray. Even when (especially when?) you don't think you have the time.
• How to make bread and granola and yogurt

June 29:

I've been struggling with how nice things are here and feeling––guilty?––about being here and enjoying the luxuries of the U.S.... but then I think, maybe it's ok to enjoy and take pleasure in this world you've given us....

July 8:

Aunt Judy and I were rummaging garage sales Springfield, IL. We pulled up to park behind another car in the street. A large man was standing next to the car, leaning in the window, talking to someone inside. My first assessment of the situation was that he was a beggar. That didn't strike me as odd until he climbed into the car and I realized I wasn't in Indonesia anymore.

Striking bargains is different, too. It's almost like it's impolite to refuse my offers. One lady did refuse, but didn't offer a counter-bargain! I had to do that on my own. Weird.

...There is too much to do that is fun/entertaining. I don't want to sleep! There is cable TV, my computer, Internet, new games, netflix, books to read, journals, etc etc. I am over-stimulated! How does one avoid it?!... Overload. How do I wind down? Rest? In the car, the radio is playing, the GPS is talking, my Aunt is talking and there are signs everywhere. At home there are TVs on in every room. Sensory overload. My eyes see stuff at garage sales. My hands touch them. Entertainment sounds constantly in my ears, along with all my little cousins calling my name (I love that!). My nose smells the neighbors' burgers when I get home, so I ask them to throw one on the grill for me, too. Then my cousin arrives with her clan and steak, and I eat that too! Feel a bit like a heart-attack.

Aug 27:

My sister needed to go see the doctor in Singapore. Her Singaporean friend Li Fong said, "You Westerners like to do things alone, but not us!" She insisted on going with Charis and it was funny to hear Li Fong's comments about Charis in the doctor's office. Later I sent an E-mail to her:

...I thought of my travels. I always enjoy being alone and I'm confident to do things alone and will not be held back from doing something if I don't have someone to do it with. BUT, having a companion is MORE fun! Thought of the times I have traveled with people, and how much more fun I have and how much easier it is to get around, like leaving all your bags in one place and taking turns going to the bathroom with no cumbersome load, and all the laughter with your friends, etc. So that's my little thought I just had. We maybe think of Asians as not being independent, bound by the need to have a "kawan" (companion), but they are having more fun! :)

Beauty of the Beloved

Came across this post from a year ago and have been reading the pages pictured there every day for the past few days (from a Henri Nouwen anthology). Desperate to believe it in my gut and heart!

Good Ol' Charlie Brown

Boy do I identify with him:

Things I Love

Been working my way through "Waking the Dead" by John Eldredge. He tells the reader to make a list of the things they love. A fun exercise! Give it a try. Here is some of my list:

• stories in the kitchen at night with the team
• eating. food. creating food.
• mom. dad. Charis. all my relatives
• my friends' children
• adventure
• NEW (food; places; music; arrangements; people; language; culture...)
• singing to Jesus; playing my flute; playing the guitar
• listening to musicians live
• watching dance performances
• one-on-one heart-to-heart girl chats
• surprises
• journaling / writing
• swimming / water
• organizing / making things clean and orderly
• variety
• physical labor / getting my hands dirty
• helping people
• cats. kittens.
• Boone. Waxhaw. Portland. Java. Jakarta. Papua. Carlinville. JoL. Schuyler. Haiti. Orlando skies. the cliffs. downtowns.
• cafes. coffee houses. hole-in-the-wall restaurants.
• mountains; rainy days; a hot drink in a mug
• puzzles. playing card games. reading a good book. watching movies with friends/family.
• details
• seeing monkeys in the wild; watching animals
• the Word
• being alone
• PEOPLE !!!
• laughing; waking myself up laughing
• praying––with people; for people; by people; alone
• taking pictures of people or things

Inspired

...by poetry. Floored by talent and God's ability to transform and the gifts He gives to His children. Check out these youtube videos: I Will Wait For You and When I Became a Man. I LOVE creativity and the arts!!! I could get lost for hours looking at these. Um, did. Got started by poking around on Mel's blog (former roommate of mine). She'll be here any minute! And on that note, I'd better scoot and practice my story and fluteboxing. :)

Good friend, good food.

Missing you today, Friend! And ikan bakar (grilled fish) with that colo-colo (amazing chili sauce) that I drank like it was soup.

(click on photos to enlarge)

Hello Mr. President

And I thought BassPro was big...

I don't know if you've heard of Scheel's or not (I hadn't), but apparently it's the World's Largest All Sport Store. Springfield, IL boasts the newest location, store #24––the only one in IL. The rest are all in states west of IL and WI. A fun, entertaining outing with my cousins and some former Presidents, starting with Ron.

Indoor ferris wheel (click to enlarge)

George

beary weird nasal cleaning

testing the equipment

Chillaxin' with Abe

Checkin' out Tom's ideas

Illinois Rounds

We had a mini-family reunion when 4 of grandma's 8 siblings showed up at the nursing home plus 3 of her children. Good times.

"Aunt Sa-sa" and her "niece" Grace.

Jennie & I introduce Grace to the Sound of Music–best viewed with hummus, chips & salsa. :) She loved it all.

Chicago boat river & lake tour with friends. I love it when friends get to meet friends!