When I lived in Haiti, I had a sickly, whiny kitten that got me so angry I wanted to leave the country (oddly it didn't occur to me to get rid of him instead of me! ha ha). I can't think of any other time I ever wanted to leave. I also wanted to hurl the poor thing across the house. I thought, I could never have children! No wonder people abuse their children (I am probably blacklisting myself from babysitting ever again)!
So we have a new kitten. I think we finally decided to call him Frik.
Well, Frik is a crybaby. Not just persistent crying, but a desperate, persistent meow. Several days ago my nerves got so shot I took him by the neck and was ready to strangle him to death. Literally. My mind went there, my hands were probably 75% behind it. I was shocked at how high my emotions were running, and I let go and started to cry. Poor Frik was scared of me for a while. If I could have screamed bloody murder I would have.The next day I was driving to town in the truck. Mind you, the width of these roads were designed for motorcycles, not more. Everyone was on the road, kids walking home from school, using the road like it was a sidewalk. Motorcyclists were driving side by side, chatting. There was too much traffic on the road to pass anything. I nearly went through the roof! I thought back to Orlando, and remembered how I hated traffic. It was one of the most--if not the most--stressful thing for me living there.
So, yeah, been having anger issues this week.
Earlier we were going to get rid of the cat, but I think I'll try him a little longer. I had a 2 day break from him while we were at camp, and he was more tolerable last night (or I was more patient--or maybe remorseful). Don't know if I should be posting these raw emotions for the world to see, but there it is, part of my journey.
2 comments:
I know of a family in Waxhaw who had a "pet" rooster. Until the rooster became so annoying the dad turned the "pet" rooster into the "dinner" rooster. Not that I'm suggesting you whip up a batch of kitty stir fry. I'm just saying hang in there, you're not alone. :)
Trust me, I've had those thoughts about one of my dogs in particular! :) It doesn't happen often, but if I do "lose it" and really whallop him, the first thought that pops into my head is "how am I going to handle my kids?!" (Marshall asked me that too after my last little episode). I just trust that the Lord will provide me with the patience I need when that time comes! Plus, it's irritating, because even when I whallop Duke, it doesn't even phase him. Stupid dog :)
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