Waiting

I once thought that, too.... Wait a minute... Really? Am I not supposed to think that? Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?... Hello. What a wake-up call. Waiting is so hard for me. Call me Madame Precipitancy.










Since February 1, there is not an ounce of physical productivity I could hand to anyone to show for my time over the last 3 months. We collected local stories for the cultural handbook at the end of January. We did print certificates and pictures of our story-collecting weekend and deliver them to the men, along with CDs of the stories (those CDs were the bane of my existence for 2 months—I could NOT figure out how to make a CD that would work on their players here), but other than that, nothing.

After the workshop, our plan was to transcribe the stories with people in our village. However, they said the stories had too much of the national language mixed in and that it was weird to hear men telling the stories—“Grandmas are the ones who tell stories” they said. So, plan modified. We would ask the older ladies in our village if they could help us by retelling the stories using the cultural experts’ recordings as a resource. With each request, we were denied—“I am not a good story teller;” or “I am not good enough in the local language;” or “Your neighbor needs to do it.”

We call our next-door-neighbor “Grandma Charley.” She is a middle-aged-woman, twelve years a widow, who adopted us as her own daughters from the day she met us, and we love her dearly. She has 6 grandchildren with another on the way. After listening to some of the recordings, Grandma Charley said, “These are good stories. I didn’t know all the details before. I’ll help you with them, but I’m busy right now.” It has been 3 months. After asking and poking and trying other people, we are always directed back to this woman, and here we sit, obstructed by her busy schedule. Today she left the island for her son’s wedding....

I feel like I’ve been on a very steep learning curve. Most days I feel I am tumbling backwards. Character work is so much harder than physical labor. A couple months ago, a friend sent me a questionnaire that included the question, What do you fear most?. I have given it a lot of thought since then, and have come to the conclusion that one of the things I most fear (if not the most) is man's disapproval. God’s disapproval probably seems like it ought to concern me more, but—depending on the day—I have a fair amount of security in that arena, knowing His Word says I am accepted because of the work of His Son. While I say that, I must admit I am concurrently dealing with the question, Do I really believe that God is pleased with me? I can’t really distinguish lines between who I am trying to please/who I am trying to please more—God, or man? All I know is that these questions are ever before me as of late. I pray I am making progress in understanding and believing God more--even if He is the only one who can see it.

Kittens!

Butch, the camp kitty, had some kittens early last week. This is her second litter. Sadly, all 3 from her first litter died. A very sad time indeed at camp as she wandered around crying, looking for her babies. :( These, however, all seem to be healthy and strong!

Streams in the Desert, L. B. Cowman

Another clip, this one from April 5. I'm afraid I traditionally prefer to be on the treadmill, thinking I can calculate what will happen. I want to learn to "live in the gap," as my teammate says--that chasm between my abilities and God's, where I cannot--do not--stand on what I can do...

Food is Art

I love taking pictures of food! Okay, you know I just love food, too. Well last night I started collecting my food pictures from different folders, and I was amazed at the variety I have gotten to see--and experience (not all of it) over the last six months or so. Check it out:

Prayer

Okay, so there may just be lots of quotes in my blog for a while. Or maybe it will be a bit more permanent? Anyway, heard this prayer (written by St. Francis of Assisi I believe) at the end of a sermon by Jeremy Jobson. I particularly liked the first 2 stanzas. May it be true for you and me:

May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

Hiking

After meetings one day, a group of us went hiking nearby. I nearly died at the pace that was set! As you can see from the photos, I stayed in the rear the whole time--except for each time we got lost and had to retrace our steps to try again (which happened, oh, maybe 3 or 4 times?).

Gorgeous views. Lots of wading through weeds and flower bushes. I finally told the gang to leave me. I was not along for the exercise; I was along for the view. :) I miss mountains!!!

Meetings

Been traveling and in meetings this week/last week....

Good Stuff

From Streams in the Desert, by L. B. Cowman

Bourne Marathon

So yesterday for the first time I watched The Bourne Identity, then The Bourne Supremacy, and then The Bourne Ultimatum, all in one afternoon/evening. Enjoyed them all.

It's been a while since I've watched an action movie. Oddly,
it was just us girls watching; no guys. Go figure. Hopefully they'll put out another movie soon--I want the David Webb bit! I guess Eric Van Lustbader took Jason Bourne and ran like crazy with him in The Bourne Legacy,... Betrayal,... Sanction, and now The Bourne Deception, due to be released this year. Has anyone been reading the whole series? Can they possibly stay good all the way? How far will this go? How does an author obtain permission to use another author's character and story line?

After a little research, I have discovered (what maybe you already know) that Robert Ludlum--author of The Bourne Identity; Supremacy; and Ultimatum--died in 2001 and 3 years later Van Lustbader picked up the Jason Bourne character, 14 years after The Ultimatum was written. Apparently that particular film was very loosly based on the book. There was a crazy bunch of background on David Webb not included in the movies. I wonder which author laid it out? Can't figure out which book all that background is in. Curious if it will come forth in a later movie? If they don’t make another Bourne movie, I may be forced to read the books. Ack! More books by my bed....

Too Many Books, Too Little Time.

How many books do you juggle at one time? How often do you finish a book you started? I can't count all the books I have going at the moment. I want to finish them all! I can't stand to start something and not finish. Here's a list of what I'm currently working through:

* Revelations of a Single Woman--loving the life i didn't expect
(by Connally Gilliam)
* Up From Slavery (Booker T. Washington autobiography),
which is available to read online
* Streams in the Desert (L. B. Cowman)
* A manual and workbook written by a friend that I am hoping will help me figure out what my personal cultural values are by "revisiting" my childhood home. What things are unique to me/my family; why do I think and operate the way I do?
* When You Look Like Your Passport Photo It's Time to Go Home
(by Erma Bombeck)
* Fighting Angel (by Pearl Buck)

I'm quite sure I'm forgetting some. When I get home I'll see if there is something else sitting in the pile next to my bed. I am so slow! I mostly read in bed at night, and rarely make it past a couple pages before I’m falling asleep. There are so many other books I have begun but don't have a clue when I'll finish, and I don't know if I will! They don't belong in the list at the moment because I'm not carrying them around or keeping them by the bed--not that either of those qualifications means I am making any progress on a book. :)

The Wedding--#2

Here are some shots from the big day. The bride is the oldest of 8 children. Be sure to click on the collages--they look much cooler in detail!

Starting from top left and moving clockwise:

Ladies playing little gongs the night before the wedding; me and a good buddy; sprinkling rice on the bride and groom in the street; the bride before the groom appeared; boys being boys--who needs weddings? Trees are so much more fun; father of the bride; one of the bride's little sisters (#7 of the 8 kids); the dishwashing station; sprinkling holy water on the bride and groom in the street; "flower girls" maybe? sister-of-the-bride and friend (well, probably cousin); center picture: me and a bunch of the kids; bride and groom

Wedding Prep

My village leader's daughter got married last week. Here's a little collage of some of the work that goes into preparing for a wedding. I sat in the ladies' spice circle and helped with grindng tamarind which turned my hand yellow for the day, but my fingernails didn't recover for a week. It is unbelievable all the work involved in preparing the spices for the meals! I also did the weeding and helped with decorations. Bottom right corner is the buffalo tied up for the feast.

Journal Entry

God, I am a broken record. Do you not tire of hearing me?....
How could you have patience with me, mulling over and over on the same issues, time and time again? How do you manage listening to billions of people, knowing each one so intimately? Maybe because you made us each unique, that's what helps you to stay sane, each of us with our unique issues, coming to you time and again. But you ARE love. It is your very essensce, who you are. How do you do it?

Broken Record

Okay, so I can't get over the new road here. I just have to say I feel it is noteworthy that I can ride a bicycle from camp to my house (8 km / 5 miles) in two-thirds the time it used to take in a truck. Sorry to keep bringing up the road, but it has unbelievably transformed our lives since it has been paved. I'll try not to bring it up again (although I imagine when the potholes return I'll have something to say--but hoping I won't have to experience that again). :) Pictured here is a sunset I tried to capture the other day biking home. Picture doesn't do it justice.

Funny Clip

My friend posted this video clip on her blog and I thought it was quite hilarious. “Everything’s Amazing, Nobody’s Happy” is a 4-minute clip from the Late Night with Conan O’Brien show, hosting comedian Louis CK. I enjoyed this so much that I went in search of more Louis CK, but was disappointed when I found a foul-mouthed man who insults his wife and kids. So anyway, enjoy this clip and don’t bother looking for more of his stuff.

P.S. If you were born mid-80's and beyond, it's possible you won't find this as humorous as those of us who used rotary phones and the old credit card machines. :)

Fire!

Monday while shopping in town, everyone started yelling,
"Get out! Get out!" I stabilized my stance and thought, I don't feel any shaking... What else is there besides earthquakes around here? When I got outside there was mayhem in the streets. People were yelling, "Fire! Fire!"

As I crossed the street, I saw what they were on about. The entire block was on fire. Smoke was billowing high in the sky with flames shooting up into the smoke, high above where any buildings were. It was an awesome and terrifying sight.

It was that feeling you get when you watch the power of nature--that feeling I had when I watched Hurricane Charley uproot a massive oak tree behind my friend's house.
As I watched, I cried, wondering what it must have been like to be an eyewitness of the twin towers going down in NY. What I saw reminded me of pictures I had seen, even though this was miniscule by comparison.

I ran to the car, grabbed my camera, turned it on, and saw these awful little words on the screen: No memory card. I was so mad, but what could I do? I stood by with the heat on my face, watching as the island's one firetruck, with men in t-shirts emptied the contents of the truck in a few minutes. It was like using a syringe to put out a bonfire. Apparently this fire was not so big for the history of this town. An electrical fire in the midst of a bunch of matchbox buildings is like setting a bomb off.

Since the whole town shut down, I went back the next day to finish my shopping. The streets were crowded with people and tonka trucks. It had rained over night and almost 24 hours had gone by, but there was still smoke rising from the metal piles and even some little fires holding on for those who had missed the fireworks from the day before.


Families and store owners were sorting through the rubble, pulling out skeletons of yesterday--sewing machines, a bicycle, a kid tugging at a generator... Entire businesses were lost. Families have literally lost everything they owned.

Fortunately no one was physically hurt in the disaster, but how do you pick up and move on from something like that?













When I was in elementary school, we learned a little song that was sung in a round. It keeps going round and round in my head:

Scotland's burning
Scotland's burning
Look out, look out!
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Pour on water!
Pour on water!

Pray for rain, pray for rain is more like it.

Ummm... wow.

Yeah, okay, so each week I try to take a "personal day." It doesn't always happen, but I did get one this week. I decided to take the motorcycle out for a little adventure. After driving about 18 km (11 or 12 miles?). from my house I came to this spot on the coast Nearly dove in fully clothed (the only way around here), but since I was alone in unfamiliar territory I decided against it. I just hung out for several hours, walking, reading, singing, journaling.
Have I mentioned that I'm trapped in paradise?

The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini

Last year I watched the movie. A while back I started the book and finished it last night. What a flippin' great writer! Hosseini is brilliant. Heart-breaking, but oh so good. I love his word pictures. Here are a couple of examples:

...a stranger's jeep is parked in the driveway of our house, pissing oil all over the asphalt.

and:

...I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.

Wedding

My friend got married on Thursday. She lives 2 doors down--incidentally, where I go to pop my squats (I know you wanted to know). The village outhouse is located by her house.
On a less earthy note, she is a teacher at the local elementary school.


It is just amazing all the work that goes in to one of these things! I love how the community comes together to make it happen.


Family and friends come from all over the island, and for days there is constant cooking and chatting.
I would love to post at least 20 pictures to show all the work and results, but it takes forever, so here are a few--men stirring the big meat pot, mobs of ladies grinding fresh spices, mega dish-washing duty...


On the wedding day the bride and groom look like a king and queen on a throne. They change outfits several times during the day. The whole ordeal is exhausting. I guess any wedding is exhausting. I just don't ever have the honor of being around the couple during and after the wedding--no honeymoon here; the groom just moves right in with his bride and mother-in-law.

Late afternoon they changed into western-looking wedding clothes and had pictures taken on the beach. Then they changed into traditional Javanese clothes for the evening and some pictures on the bed.









They met just a few months ago. Being "in love" before getting married is not so important here as just making sure you do get married. Apparently it's a sin not to get married. Oops. Anyway, it was an absolutely beautiful day all around. The funnest wedding I've been to here yet--and believe me, there have been plenty. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that she was my good friend. :)

Feb 5: "Streams in the Desert," L.B. Cowman

I just read this yesterday and appreciated it so much. I am such a DOER....

Ye shall not go out with haste (Isa. 52:12).

I do not believe that we have begun to understand the marvelous power there is in stillness. We are in shuch a hurry—we must be doing—so that we are in danger of not giving God a chance to work. You may depend upon it; God never says to us, “Stand still,” or “Sit still,” or “Be still,” unless He is going to do something.
(from Crumbs)

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor deem these days—these waiting days—as ill!
The One who loves thee best, who plans thy way,
Hath not forgotten thy great need today!
And, if He waits, ‘tis sure He waits to prove
To thee, His tender child, His heart’s deep love.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Thou longest much to know thy dear Lord’s will!
While anxious thoughts would almost steal their way
Corrodingly within, because of His delay—
Persuade thyself in simple faith to rest
That He, who knows and loves, will do the best.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
Nor move one step, not even one, until
His way hath opened. Then, ah then, how sweet!
How glad thy heart, and then how swift thy feet
Thy inner being then, ah then, how strong!
And waiting days not counted then too long.

Sit still, my daughter! Just sit calmly still!
What higher service could’st thou for Him fill?
‘Tis hard! Ah yes! But choicest things must cost!
For lack of losing all how much is lost!
‘Tis hard, ‘tis true! But then—He giveth grace
To count the hardest spot the sweetest place.

J. Danson Smith

Success!!!

It was an amazing weekend. Everything flowed so smoothly, from timing to recordings to food and housing. We really bonded with these guys. Now I have new grandpas. :) Four of the eight came, and it was a great group. There was such a warmth and feeling of family. You could almost taste sweetness in the air. Thanks for remembering us.

Pictured above: Each time a storyteller finished his story, he gave 2 thumbs up to let us know to stop recording. :)













The food was great! Although after having rice 3 times a day for 4 days (been eating leftovers since they left), I'm beginning to crave some western food.